Strange Questions

I came to work today to this email from my sister. I think it's probably the strangest grouping of questions I've ever received at once.

I'm back. How are things with you? Florida was fun.

I have a couple questions for you...

1. Who do you use to do your taxes and how much does it usually cost?
2. Did you get a shot for your eczema and did it take it away completely?
3. And finally, if you do not have plans for the super bowl, do you
want to come to our house?

Ok, maybe TMI. Good times.

Jet Packs People! Jet Packs!

My good friend Dom, who is:

a.) mad that I posted unauthorized pictures of him on the subway
And
b.) knows my posts have sucked lately,

has sent me a link to this article about jet packs. And guess what, they have now become reality... if only for 75 seconds at a time.

Several things to ask yourself if you would like to purchase one:

1. Do I have $100,000? If not, how can I make that money by summer?
2. Do I have any reservations about strapping myself to a rocket filled with 100 pounds of fuel?
3. What will my carbon footprint be with this thing if it burns 100 pounds of fuel in 75 seconds?
4. Which of my friends is the most desperate for my love that he/ she will follow behind me holding the tether?
5. Where will I put my dog, infant, or groceries?
6. Is it required that I have to wear the Evil Knievel-inspired jump suit?
7. What destination is 3,650 feet from my current location where traveling by jet pack makes perfect sense?
8. Where do you park one of these things?
9. How much do I have to dish out for insurance?
10. Where's the cup holder?

and finally,

Will people laugh at my junk all squished like that? I know I would.

TV is About to Control My Life

In case you have never read this blog or don't know me, I love TV. Beeps and I do a lot of TV watching. The past few months have been hard with the writers strike, although it did allow me to get caught up on my reality favorites like Judge Judy, Cops, Tribal Life, No Reservations, How Clean is Your House? (Sassy British cleaning ladies. LOVE this show!), Clean House (with Niecy Nash. Love her too! Which reminds me, Reno 911 also has new episodes.) and several others that I am too embarrassed to mention.

However, my life will change for the better in the coming weeks with the premier of Lost this week, Big Brother February 12th (WOOT!), and Battlestar Galactica in March.

Lost is gonna be kick ass. I cannot wait!

Big Bother will consume 3 days of my week and I will watch every episode.

And Battlestar is going to mess with my mind. If you don't already watch this show, rent all the past seasons, and start watching because it's EASILY the best drama on TV. Beeps and I rented Battlestar Galactica Razor and watched it yesterday. I was blown away! They had the old school Cylons in it from the original show! Remember how scary they were?

Anyway. Hope you are as excited as I am. I'm sure there are many TV posts to come.

More gators. Then I swear I'll stop.

Smoochies sent me some more pictures of gators from her trip to Florida. This time with a real camera, and really up close. YIKES!



Somehow I don't think the slippery surface is the real danger here...

Gator!

My parents are in Naples, FL visiting my Nana. They just sent me this picture from their phone.

Good times.

The Candidates and Animal Rights

This is kinda cool. If you are an animal lover and wonder where the Presidential Candidates stand on animal rights issues, go to this web site to learn about their platforms, and policies, read up on their animal welfare voting records and decide which candidate is the one for you.

For example, I will not be voting for Romney for a whole list of reasons that could fill this page but this story just takes the cake and breaks my heart:

"Romney attracted the ire of animal advocates when they learned that during a 1983 vacation, he put the family’s Irish setter, Seamus, in a carrier and strapped him to the roof rack of the station wagon. When the terrified dog urinated and defecated during the twelve-hour drive, Romney pulled over, hosed down the dog, and continued the voyage from Boston to Ontario."

Oh boy. If a candidate can't care for a pet, how can he care for the free world?

I'm in Like with Daniel Day-Lewis

On Sunday Beeps and I went to see "There Will Be Blood" starring Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis. I was never a big fan of his work. I thought he was probably a pretty good actor. He often looks crazy and disheveled at award shows and in public. I saw bits and pieces of "Gangs of NY" and his roll was kinda cheesy. I never saw "Last of the Mohicans" but I heard that it was good. Beeps likes him in "The Crucible." But that's all I know. However, after seeing his performance in "There Will Be Blood" I'm not sure I will ever see a finer actor.

If you don't know the story, it takes place in the southwest at the turn of the century. Day-Lewis plays oil tycoon Daniel Plainview, who is slowly taken over by greed and mental illness. There is also a parallel story about a young evangelist preacher and his own greedy path to righteousness. But the preacher story almost doesn't matter based on Day-Lewis' performance. This movie truly was a character study on Plainview and there may as well have been no other characters in the film. Plainview had probably 95% of the lines in the film and he delivered them with such realism and precision. And in the moments where he did not speak (There were no words spoken in probably the first 20 minutes of the film) you could read his body language like he was screaming it from a rooftop.

At moments in the story you care so deeply for Day-Lewis' character while knowing full well that you are unaware of his true intentions. You finally get your answers at the very end when everything is revealed in a fire storm of rage, drool, and blood.

Drool you ask? Yes, this is what actually convinced me that Day-Lewis is the finest actor EVER. Did you hear me? EVER! Once you see it you will know what I mean. I am 100% sure that he will win this year's Oscar based on his performance in this film.

Be sure to catch it before the Academy Awards show (assuming there is one). And you can thank me later.

The Future of Digital Music is Here So Stop Bitchin'

Remember a while back when the music companies were bitchin about falling CD sales and illegal song downloads? Well the future is here now Mr. Music Exec. so stop yer belly achin', dry those tears, and get with it because in the 2 months since MTV and Harmonix have put out "Rock Band" and "Guitar Hero 3", players have downloaded more that 2.5 MILLION ADDITIONAL songs!

Now where's my "Rock Band" Depeche Mode 3 pack and mini keyboard for all night synth madness?

And The Winner is!

The winner of the caption contest as chosen by me and Beeps is...
Drum roll....

JIM!

"Finding himself in the midst of members of the notorious and violent Pea Coat Gang, Dominic attempted to disguise his identity."

Good job Jim.

Mac Attack!

I just went to Comcast.net and saw the most amazing news. You can go to this site and watch ALL the MacGyver episodes you want! Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I heart Angus MacGyver - big time. Between 1985 and 1992 I was glued to the TV on Monday nights! I had a big poster of him in my room. I think I've seen every episode multiple times. I loved his insight, his resourcefulness, his houseboat, his clean livin', his love of hockey, his best friend Pete, his Jeep, and of course his mullet in all its shapes and sizes. Beeps even made me a long sleeve t-shirt with "MacGyver" on the front and the Phoenix Foundation's logo on the back.  Killer. I've even decided to endorse him for president. And you should too.

"Macgyver is neither left nor right, Macgyver is not Republican or Democrat. Macgyver is Macgyver, an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a shroud of kindness."

I love it!  And for fun, here's a MacGruber sketch from SNL. Enjoy!

Caption Contest

Well since I've been MIA for a while and am hurting for material.  I thought we could have a good ole' caption writing contest at the expense of my good friends who after this moment will never send me pictures again. 

Beeps and I will judge. The winner gets his/her name posted here in big lights and 1000 thanks to be spent as he/she sees fit. 

 Let's get to it:

Listen Up!

Beeps and I have a new favorite commercial. We just lose it when it comes on. Maybe you've seen it? It's the ad for "Listen UP" hearing devices. If you haven't seen it, go here and watch it online.

It starts off with this bitter older couple in bed fighting over the how loud the TV is. I guess because the husband is hard of hearing. You can tell that he's stuck in a loveless marriage by the way the wife treats him like crap.

In the next scene the same wife bitches at him again for having the stereo too loud while she's jibber jabbering on the phone to God knows who. He looks so defeated, like a beaten dog.

The commercial then goes on to tell you that you can use it outside to hear nature sounds, you can use it in church, it's as small as a credit card, yadda yadda. Then they tell you that you can listen in on other people's conversations! And guess who's suddenly hard of hearing? You got it, the same wife who complained to her husband. She turns out to be quite the neighborhood eavesdropper.

Then you see some dude at the gym overhearing girls talk about how hot he is. I won't ruin the rest of it for you, I'll just say that there's hunter who has no business carrying a gun. Please go watch it and then buy me one.

New Years Eve 2007

For the past 9 or so years, the same group of friends has been gathering on New Years Eve to catch up, play cut throat pollyanna, and just enjoy. This year Kelly and Adam hosted at their place in Brooklyn, NY. Here are some pics from last evening. Good times were had by all.

Here's Turkey.

And Miss Wendell.
Adam in zombie lighting.

Did anyone catch Dick Clark's Rockin Eve or whatever it's called? Boy oh boy, either I had waaaay too much to drink or Mr. Clark is bad off. Poor guy. It was cute when his wife came on set and kissed him.

And yes, CP (AKA Couch Potato) was in the hizzouse. JenniB couldn't contain herself.


Me, Jeff, and Kel...


I can't figure out what emotion this is...

Seth and Jeff get some quality time with CP...


I LOVE this picture. Here we pose with our Cut Throat Pollyanna gifts. I got to show off my Kitten lap blanket, and Turkey her Pirate Shirt. Not sure what Kelly's doing there...



Thanks to Kelly and Adam for such a great time and great food. I wish I could post all the pictures. Can't wait until next year!

Waiting to Win

Hi all, I hope you had a nice holiday vacation. I certainly did. I was MIA for a while because I took the whole week off between Christmas and New Years. Tomorrow it's back to work. Yuk. Anyway, I had big hopes of posting this particular story BEFORE the holiday, but a mixture of holiday hustle and bustle and wine, made me a little lazy.

Better late than never I suppose.

Back in the beginning of December Beeps recorded a Christmas song for the Great Sufjan Song Xmas Xchange. He did not win although we were sure he would. So up until the day they decided, we joked the we were just "waiting to win." Our friend Steve provided the lyrics. Hopefully it's not too late for an after-Christmas tune. Click here to go listen and read all about the Lonely Shepherd.

And a merry belated Christmas.

Xmas 2007

Thought I'd post a few pictures from my holiday vacation. It started innocently enough. I came home one day to Rock Band sitting in our living room. Naturally it was an excuse to get the band back together. The week was full of similar moments of pure, unadulterated rocking. Turns out, I'm a natural on the drums and a hell of a front man...





Here are a few pictures of us hanging out at Marc's. Here he represents the three major world religions. I'll let you figure out which one is which.




Scott and Beeps share a laugh...



We decided to take a trip to the Wharton Esherick museum . This is a cool place. Wharton was a wood worker, sculptor, painter, builder and much, much more. The museum is located in Paoli, PA and you can make appointments for a tour. Highly recommended. Here are some pictures from outside the museum (no photography was allowed inside). Click on the link to see samples of his work.