Saturday, June 30, 2007

Magesty Snowbird

I just love this song. It's not a great recording. But one day...

Hope you have about 10 minutes to spare.

Rain bird, laughing in the olive tree, la la dee dah
Colored shirt, with the alabaster altarpiece, you gave to me
Summer sweet, some forgiven
Your advice is all that seems to matter much to me
Call it sweet, call it something paradise

Is it the right word you designed for me?
Is it the broken word or good advice i need?
Is the half as sweet set aside for me?
Is it mysterious? is it something ripe and sweet?

Snowbird, your sister said she needed me, la la dee dah
Show them first, show them what you did for me, la la dee dah
Quiet sound, and little soldier sent beneath
And epaulets that covered every shoulder
Call it sweet come take
Forget the things I said, to please

Is it the right word you designed for me?
Is it the broken word or good advice i need?
Is the tapestry set beneath my wings?
Is it mysteroius, glorious? Indeed.

Don't stop, don't break
You can delight because you have a place
Quiet room, I need you now

Is it the right word?
Is it the broken word?
Is it the tapestry?
Is it the majesty?

Is it the right word?
Is it the broken word?
Is it the tapestry?
Is it the majesty?

Don't stop, don't break
You can delight because you have a place

Quiet room, i need you now...

Thursday, June 28, 2007

El Terrible'

I had the worst lunch experience today. Our entire company (all six of us) went to this new Mexican place on Gay St. called El Portal or something. I ordered a chicken quesadilla, chips and salsa, and a bottled water. It was $12.66. Seriously. $13 for a fricken quesadilla! They didn't even offer free chips with lunch. Jesus, it's Mexican food, not caviar.

So I sit down and just accept it because we went out for a co-worker's birthday and i didn't want to be a Debbie Downer.

So they bring me my quesadilla and it's made with about 16 pieces of American cheese.

I would have eaten it but after searching around my plate I realize that I have no utensils. I'm looking around like a prairie dog for hawks, when finally the waiter comes over and brings me a fork. I was so hungry that I started eating it. It was terrible.

I didn't want to complain so I thought I would put some hot sauce on it to give it some type of flavor. Again I morph into my prairie dog alter ego and look around for the condiment collection. Alas there's no Tobasco or other sauces to be found. So I get up and ask the waiter/ incompetent dude if he had any hot sauce. He said "do you want me to get that for you?"

Um what? "No dude," I thought, "I'll just go behind the counter and get it myself, ass."

So he brings me some chipolte crap in a little plastic cup. This wasn't Tobasco, but hey, again, not gonna be a Debbie Downer. So I said thanks and put it on my shitty Mexican grilled cheese. It didn't help.

A moment later this customer comes over to me and says "That looks good, what is it?" And I said, "Don't get it, it's awful, seriously." She must have thought I was joking because a few minutes later she walked by with a quesadilla.

It was at this moment that I realize that out of the 3 people at the table who got quesadillas, that mine is the only one made with American Cheese. Why is this? I wonder.

So they lady who rang us up came over to see how everything was and my coworker Heather tells the lady that my food was made with the wrong cheese. So, what is her response you ask?
"Oh, well about 5 minutes after you ordered we got our shipment of shredded cheese so we had to make yours with American."

WTF!!!! Are you kidding me? No "I'm sorry, let me get you something else" or "My mistake, that shouldn't have happened, here's your $13 effing dollars back!" NO, they KNEW they were pulling a bait and switch and didn't care!!

I couldn't believe it. Needless to say I won't be eating at El Crapo restaurant again, and I WILL be telling others to avoid it.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to run to the bathroom to flush away my dignity and $13.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Good Times!

So at the end of April a bunch of us went white water rafting in Jim Thorpe, PA. Jim Thorpe was a Native American Olympian who was stripped of his gold medals when it was discovered that he played semi-pro baseball. Can't the Native Americans catch a break? What's weird is that after he died his wife sold his body to the town that would pay the most. By purchasing his body and naming the town after him, Jim Thorpe, PA literally got its name on the map.

Then there was a battle between the town and his tribe over his body. To find out what happened click on the title link.

Okay enough learning, back to me.

It was my first trip white water rafting, and although it was cold as all get out, i had a blast. Here is a picture montage. Enjoy.


So I have something very upsetting to report. My swallowtail caterpillar has gone AWOL (A Worm On the Loose). Somehow he escaped from my moderately fortified caterpillar compound.

I fed him, housed him, protected him and this is how he treats me? This is probably part of the reason i don't have kids.

Well I can only hope that he's gone off to make his cocoon and that maybe, one day soon, i'll see him flutter by.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tips to Avoid Arrest

So I have this thing for shows about justice. Judge Judy is my favorite but i must admit that Cops is growing on me. I guess it helps that it's on about 3 channels all day every day. So I've set TiVo up to tape them so i can skip the commercials and enjoy a straight 20 minutes of unadulterated justice.

Being a cop sucks. Being a law breaker sucks if you get caught by the cops. I've watched enough episodes so far that i think i can pretty much tell anyone how they can stay out of jail. So here goes,

JDizzle's tips on how to stay out of jail:

1. Don't do drugs. Or if you do, don't take them in your car or keep them in your pockets.
2. If you are driving, make sure you have a valid driver's license, registration, and insurance.
3. Cops will pull you over for minor traffic infractions for the chance to search your car so make sure you signal when turning, that you have no lights out, and that if you are drunk, make sure you turn your lights on when you drive at night.
4. If you are buying drugs, don't do it from someone you don't know and don't buy them from the projects. Chances are you are under surveillance.
5. If you are gonna fight with your spouse, don't hit him/her. And if you do, put on a shirt.
6. Don't carry concealed weapons. That will get you shot.
7. If you do get pulled over and you have something to hide, make sure you have a good, well constructed sob story to tell. i.e., just came from a funeral, Dad's in the hospital, etc. But know your story in and out! Cops can sniff out a lie.
8. If you have been in jail and are on parole, don't violate it. (Okay sounds easy right? People are morons and do this.)
9. Don't get into the car with, or hang with, anyone who meets the above descriptions.

If you are stupid enough to get caught,
1. Don't resist arrest. You will get your ass kicked.
2. Don't engage in a high speed chase. They always end badly.
3. Don't run and hide in the woods, a police dog WILL find you, it won't be pretty, and you can kiss your pants goodbye.

Well that's all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there are more. Please let me know if i missed anything. Hopefully my tips will keep you out of jail and your face off of Cops.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Black Dog

Hi Y'all, allow me to introduce our newest addition, Black Dog (we don't have a name yet).

There's a great rescue called LaMancha Animal Rescue in Unionville, about 25 minutes West of here. They have a huge farm with tons of dogs, cats, horses, emus, goats, lamas, you name it! We saw this pup and knew she'd be ours. They say she's a lab/ Newfoundland mix of some kind. They got her from a high-kill shelter in North Carolina. What's sad is that these shelters only give dogs 72 hours to be adopted or they are euthanized. So the LaMancha Animal Rescue has some people on the inside that tell them about these poor pups and they ship them up here to be adopted.

Cute right? She might give Joey a run for her money. Joey is a bit miffed right now, but maybe that's what she needs. She's been spoiled for far too long.

We don't have a name yet, so suggestions are welcome!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Cute Joey Pic of the Day

Jo Jo poolside.


I just heard the best news today: Big Brother 8 starts July 5th! I'm so excited. I think this year i'll buy the web access so i can keep an eye on those pesky house guests. And of course foxy Miss Chen will be in the hizzouse.

Now for three days, of each week, of the entire summer, my life will be complete.

The Day After

Well Marc's party was a big success. There was tons of food and the keg is kicked. A good time was had by all. The event started early (around 3pm) with lots of catching up. We grilled tons of food thanks to Miss Krista. She makes a killer mango salsa.

It then morphed into a music video set with Beeps filming some shots for his song "All I Need is an Excuse". Hence the parachute.

The dogs eventually took over, almost outnumbering the peeps.

Next, the party moved inside and became a Guitar Hero face-off.

Finally everyone retired to the bar room to take part in some serious sing-alongs. A pretty typical weekend here in town.

Friday, June 22, 2007


Cute Joey pic of the day...

Cha Cha Cha Changes

So a while back my Mom, who gardens like Bob Ross paints, gave me some plants from her garden that she said attract swallowtail butterflies. I said "thanks" politely and placed the plants on my porch. A few days later i noticed 2 very tiny black caterpillars on the branches of one of the plants.

To make a very long story short, i now have a swallowtail nursery on my patio table.

Inside is one chrysalis and one giant worm. He's very pretty and has a serious appetite. Just today i noticed that he completely decimated the dill plant he was on and i had to replace it with another plant. Hopefully in the next few days he too will turn into a cocoon and eventually emerge as a butterfly.

Ok corny, but hey, I'll try to get some pics to share along the way. Name suggestions welcome.


I'll bet every firefighter wanted in on this one:

DINBURG, Texas (AP) -- Firefighters who spent half an hour fighting a blaze in which 2,000 pounds of marijuana went up in smoke breathed so much of it that they would have failed a drug test, a fire chief said.

It took more than 35 firefighters, 1,000 gallons of water and five gallons of chemical suppressant to extinguish the warehouse blaze on Wednesday, Fire Chief Shawn Snider said.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents were investigating the origin of the drugs.

The Hidalgo County fire marshal was investigating whether arson was the cause.

Snider said Thursday the firefighters were exposed to so much marijuana smoke that they would not be able to pass a drug test, despite wearing air packs to prevent them from inhaling toxic or hazardous fumes.

We're All Doomed

It's the end of the world as we know it.

Someone's Summerin'

Our good friend Marc is getting older this weekend and we are throwing him a BBQ bash. There will be lots of summerin' so stay tuned for incriminating pics...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Marlon Marathon - The Men

Beeps and I, after watching that 4 hour documentary on TCM, have decided to watch every Marlon Brando movie in order. That's right, bad or good, Moreau or Streetcar, we're going to suffer through them all. Marlon Brandon, as i'm sure you've heard, got crazier as he aged. He was known for inventing wierd things. You might not know that he invented some crazy air conditioning system in Tahiti that brought cold water from the bottom of the ocean into hotel rooms. No lie!

First up, filmed in 1951 is "The Men" a disappointing film about paraplegics in a WWII VA hospital. Brando is of course the best part of the film second only to the prick doctor whose
unintentionally hilarious bedside manner had Beeps and I in stitches. You'll have to see it yourself but just to give you a taste, the doc tells the wives and mothers of the disabled to expect to be nurses to them for the rest of their lives and that many men will never be able to control their bladders. He does this all while smoking a cigarette in the ward. Good times. I guess that was back when smoking was good for you and doctor recommended.

We give it 1.5 marbles out of 5.

Next up, The Wild One. It's got to get better than this.

Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog

Just last week my sister had a new visiter to her house, a skinny coon hound of some kind. No collar or anything. She fed the poor thing because it was just skin and bones. Beeps and I have been looking for a friend for Joey. We've sent in several applications to local rescues, but no one has called us yet. You'd think they'd jump on a family like us! No kids, a fenced in yard, dog experience, yada, yada. Well no dice folks. I guess they just want to see the pooches get gassed. But i digress.

Back to my sis. Well she and my mother have hatched a plan to get me to take this dog. I mean the timing is right, and we are looking. I'm a bit worried about house breaking all over again, and whether the dog is healthy. He looks sweet enough. What do you think?

This is Joe

This is my pooch Joey. She's 6. She's the coolest in the world. Now that Beeps (my husband) is on summer break (he's a teacher), Joey has someone to be with. Today they hung out. She's happy to have company.

Hello Townies

Hi y'all, welcome to Hometown Hangover. I just got a kickin' (hand-me-down) laptop from my mother-in-law and now instead of carting my fat behind upstairs to get on the computer, i can just stay in front of the boob tube and tap away.

You will find lots of failrly useless info here. So stick around.