Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Xmas Comes Early


For all those "hard-to-buy-fors" on your list, why not treat them to a magical night out experiencing the song stylings of Missing Palmer West?


Friday, December 21st @ The Khyber in Philly -- 9pm, $8, 21+

And no. It is not a benefit kinda thing.

And for some fun, are you a fan of "Friend Rock?" Not sure? Well Sufjan can explain it all in this so, so true sidebar post on Asthmatic Kitty: Friend Rock

And yes, I HAVE sold merch.

Friday, December 14, 2007

It'll Kill Ya!

Beeps and I find the local news, and its desperate attempt to win viewers and ratings, very entertaining. It usually happens at a promo shot between commercials. They seem to take the most unlikely object, exploit its dangers, fill you with fear, and then tell you to tune in later.

For example:

"There's something in your refrigerator that will kill you and your kids instantly. We'll tell you what it is, tonight at 11."


Here's one that I found online today. Same idea:

Toy Ball Can Be a Fiery Nightmare
Friday, 14 Dec 2007, 1:41 PM EST

From MyFoxChicago Reports


Chicago -- A warning for any parent shopping for gifts for the children in their lives. A Fox News Chicago investigation has found one popular toy can burst into flames in certain situations. Medical reporter Margaret Shortridge has more on what you need to know.


Ummm, first of all, what parent, besides Rosie O'Donnell, is buying this toy for his/her kids for Christmas? If I was that kid, I'd be pissed. And second of all, what do they mean by "certain situations"? Do they mean like when you pour gasoline on it and hold it under a lighter, bake it in the stove, or throw it in a camp fire? I don't get it. Thirdly, who is funding these "investigations" cause they could get better use out of that money by simply giving it to me.

The only reason it's bursting into flames in the first place is because all the disgruntled boys and girls find these more fun to burn then to actually play with.

Corporate conferences and expositions all over the world morn this discovery.

Uggg.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Persepolis


Beeps bought these 2 novels no too long ago. I read them both in about 3 hours while camping over Thanksgiving weekend. I couldn't put them down. (I know I said I don't read, but these have lots of pictures, so it sort-of doesn't count.)

Anyway, a definite winner! The books were scary, heartbreaking, intense, smart, and very funny. Marjane Satrapi really opened my eyes to what it is like to grow up in a war torn and sometimes extreme Muslim world. Plus the movie opens on Christmas day. It looks stunning. Go here to see the trailer.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?

I saw this article about a digital solar device that you put on a tombstone to show pictures or videos or whatever. Thought it was cool. (Although I plan on being cremated and made into either a natural fish reef or a diamond.) If I had this I'd probably record myself telling lots of inappropriate fat Mom jokes to piss off the viewers. It's not like they can do anything to me right?

Anyhoo, if you had this device, what would you put on your tombstone?

Friday, December 7, 2007

Bus Crash

Hi all, Happy Pearl Harbor Day! Okay, maybe the word "happy" is a bit much. Maybe "Contemplate" Pearl Harbor Day is better?

I always remember this day. I was in a horrific school bus accident on this day in 1990. I was a senior. Yes, a senior. and before you say "You geek, what senior rides the school bus?" I'll stop you and tell you that on this particular day, my ride was unable to take me home.

I was sitting about 8 rows back on the left hand side of the bus and rocking out to Depeche Mode on my yellow Sony Walkman. Completely ignoring everything around me. I don't remember the song. I'm thinking it was probably something off of "Violator", probably "World in My Eyes" or "Clean".

It was the end of the bus route and since I lived the farthest out, I was one of the last to be dropped off. I remember those bus rides feeling like hours. There were about 10 students still on the bus including my cousins who lived about 2 miles from my house on a farm.

As we approached the intersection near their house (the intersection was a yellow blinking light for us and a red blinking light for the cross traffic) I noticed a pick up truck approaching us quickly from outside my window on the left side. I knew immediately that it was not going to stop. My brain instantly calculated its point of impact as right where I was sitting. Panicked, I stood up (where I was going to go I had no idea). Then,

SMASH!!!

I was thrown across the bus aisle into the seat on the right side of the bus.

We were in the air.

For a brief moment it was silent.

Then a second CRASH!!! The telephone pole on the opposite side of the street came crashing in the window in front of me, broken in half.

The bus spun for a moment and then stopped. Its rear end up in the air facing into the field. I was stunned. I looked down on my lap. Drip, drip, GUSH! Blood began to pour out of my head and into the cupped hands in front of me. I screamed, afraid of what my injury might be. I looked around. Everyone was stunned. Some kids were already moving toward the emergency door. My cousin bolted out of the front of the bus (her shoes had fallen off in the impact) and she ran to her house. Another girl was knocked out and slumped over the seat. My other cousin was on the ground outside, he had been thrown through the window and onto the field.

I walked to the back of the bus, blood burning my eyes. It was hard to see. I could see the pick up that hit us. It was to my right, about 75 feet up the street. mangled and engulfed in flames. Some workers, who had heard the impact, were running across the field. They helped me off the bus.

I passed out in the mud.

A few minutes later I woke up to sirens and people milling about. I could hear the roar of the "Jaws of Life" as they attempted to free the driver from his truck. They held a white sheet in front of it as they worked. It was too late. Someone was holding my head to stop the bleeding, it was my Aunt. I saw my Principal. That was weird.

All I could think about was what my parents were doing and where they were. My Dad who worked for the Electric Company and who was a Lineman, heard the accident on the radio. He headed for the hospital to await my arrival. My Mom was called at work. She did the same.

When I arrived at the hospital, they put about 20 stitches in my head and had to sew my right ear back on. It was almost completely severed from the impact.

Surprisingly, all the kids survived. The worst was the girl passed out over the seat. She had broken her pelvic bone, broken her ribs, and punctured her lung. My cousin who was thrown had a large cut down his scalp and was airlifted to Cooper Hospital. He was okay.

But the driver of the truck was killed instantly. Turns out he was hauling a two ton asphalt roller that catapulted up the street upon impact with the bus, taking the truck with it. Luckily the roller missed the bus.

He was on his way home from work.

That night when I got home, I wasn't allowed to go to sleep for fear that I would slip into a coma. My Mom stayed up with me and woke me if I started to pass out. I got to stay out of school for a week which was cool I guess. My head was shaved in the front, so I wore a bandanna for a while.

A few days later my Dad wanted to go see the bus at the bus lot. I didn't want to go at first but he insisted. "It'll be cool." he said "You'll see." (He's twisted in a fun kind-of way) So I went.

At first the bus looked undamaged until we got up close. In reality it was bent like a kidney bean. I walked to the left side and saw the impact site. It was right under the window where I was seated. Because buses sit higher off the ground, it appeared that the pick up had first gone right under the bus, severing the cab.

I walked inside.

MY WALKMAN! It was sitting on the ground. Play stopped somewhere mid-synth ballad. The earphones snapped in half. It still worked.

I looked in the seat where I landed. My blood was everywhere. On the seat, the back of the seat in front of it, the floor, everywhere. The trail lead to the back of the bus. The moments frozen in time.

"That's it Dad, can we go home?" And we did.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Japanese Guys Playing Soccer With Binoculars On


Title says it all. Good times.



Tuesday, December 4, 2007

There is a God and his name is CBS

First Turkey gave me the heads up and now Smoochies has confirmed:

Big Brother to return this February!


Hosted, as always, by Julie Chen, "Big Brother" will premiere on Tuesday, Feb. 12 at 9 p.m. ET, following "NCIS." Additional installments of "Big Brother" will air on Wednesdays and Sundays at 8 p.m., premiering on Feb. 13 and Feb. 17.

WOOT!!! I CANNOT WAIT! Why can't the writers strike all the time?

Monday, December 3, 2007

The MPW/University Rockstravaganza

Jim of Chachi Milk reminded me about the MPW/University Rockstravaganza. I didn't post anything about it because I'm hoping to get my paws on pictures taken by a certain "white Barry Bonds". But I do have this gem...



All I have to say is that the panties were flying. Even the bigger gals participated.

Christmas in Philly

Ahhh, how true...

video

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Catch Up

Sorry for being MIA for a while. After returning from the cabin after Thanksgiving, work was very busy. This weekend I finally had a moment to post some pictures from our trip. It was COLD as all get out up there. One morning we woke up to a 29 degree cabin WITH the wood stove on!

There were 6 dogs and 6 people. Because it was hunting season, I didn't want Leia Darth Maul to be mistaken for a black bear cub, so I dressed her in an orange t-shirt. The only one I had was and old University shirt. Unfortunately Leia found something very stinky to roll in. As seen in the image below. Sorry University.


We made some wreaths.



Mom made a great turkey dinner.

Once home we unpacked to find we had a stow away in the dog food can. Smoochies had managed to sneak him into the dog food while we were packing.

He's baaaack!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy GW Bush Day... er... I mean Turkey Day

Looks like George Bush finally did something right.

He pardoned some turkeys.

Almost immediately afterward, his approval rating skyrocketed from 31% to 32%.

Happy Turkey Day Y'all!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

All I Want for Christmas...

So I've been thinking. I should probably start my Christmas shopping early. I spent some time online today and have started my list. Boy will everyone be surprised.

Kelly - The Pickle of the Month Club. Includes one jar (and on occasion, two smaller jars) each month (usually a total of 16 - 32 ounces). Varieties include dill, sweet, bread and butter, sour, spicy, etc. so each month will be a new and unique experience. She's gonna be so stoked.






Jeff
- The Fat Girl Krispy Creme Calendar. He'll never miss another birthday with this beauty. Click on the picture to get a preview.

















Kirk & Manley
- A matching pair of nifty roller blades. Sleek and stylish. You can really catch some serious air with these babies. Especially since they're strapped to your feet. Just wait until you hit the skate park roller-coordinated. DAMN! So hot.









Turkey
- Because you are sooo into sci-fi, I got you the entire Star Wars saga on DVD as well as an autographed photo of the cast of Stargate SG1. "Indeed."











Wendy
- A Wii system. Cause she can't get enough TV or video games.









Smoochies
- I got you a lifetime supply of celery and ham.









Steve
- I know how you always like to keep your feet protected so I got you some steel toed combat boots to wear around LA. Back up ladies! He's taken!













Dom
- You are getting an authentic Irish wool sweater. Boy will that feel good on your bare body during the cold winter months to come. Now that I think about it, I think I'll pick one up for Smoochies too.










Seth
- Since you like animals so much, I thought I'd get you a rooster. Not only will they ensure your early rise, but they're edible too.








JenniB - You're getting a Wilma Deering -inspired spandex cat suit. I also picked up a "his" and "hers" towel set at Kmart that I thought you'd like.









Well, like I said, I just started shopping so I have lots of gifts to get. Let me know if I missed anyone and what I should get them. Remember, it's better to give than to receive.

The Show of the Century!

I just got this email from my good friend Dom. His band The University is reuniting for a show this weekend at Rex's (which coincidently is shutting its doors). They are also playing with Beeps' band Missing Palmer West. Thought I'd share it with you:

Wow --- YOU'RE ON A MASS EMAIL FROM DOMINIC.***

If you don't go to REX'S this SATURDAY (11/17/07), you're going to really hate yourself when you wake on SUNDAY MORNING.

The UNIVERSITY will take the stage for the first time in YEARS, and they'll be joined by MISSING PALMER WEST. In between the bands, the OWN UP TIME DJs will be SPINNING hot 60s SOUL & GARAGE records. Dig?

IT'S ALL HAPPENING AT REX'S, you understand, BECAUSE THE BAR IS CLOSING soon, and you won't see THE UNIVERSITY at REX'S ever AGAIN after this coming SATURDAY NIGHT.

Saturday, November 17th, 10PM SHARP. OWN UP TIME DJs...MISSING PALMER WEST...THE UNIVERSITY.

***To UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS MASS EMAIL, and AVOID IMPERSONAL MESSAGES in the FUTURE, just go to REX'S on SATURDAY, and BUY DOMINIC A GLASS OF BEER.


Now you too should be inspired to attend this once in a lifetime event. See you there! JDiz

Monday, November 12, 2007

I'm Supergirl!

Do you like to fly? Do you enjoy space travel? Do you wear a cape? Then find out what superhero you would be. Take the quiz and then let us know who you are!



Supergirl
85%
Green Lantern
75%
Iron Man
75%
Spider-Man
60%
Robin
60%
Superman
60%
Wonder Woman
55%
The Flash
55%
Catwoman
50%
Hulk
45%
Batman
25%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Toy Piano

Beeps turned 35 last month and to commemorate this milestone in aging, I decided to get him a baby piano. He already has several big boy pianos; a baby grand, a couple key boards, a Rhodes, etc. So I thought this would be a fun little addition to the collection. So almost 3 weeks before his birthday I did some online research and found that a company named Schoenhut® made probably the best toy pianos in the world. The problem was that you had to order from a retailer and not directly from the company itself. No problem. So I searched around the web.

The model I wanted came in both white and red. The red one was FLY! I really wanted to get red. But as I searched I found that the red model was on back order at most retailers. But I managed to find one dealer on Amazon that claimed to have a red one. So I ordered it. Only to be contacted a few days later by them telling me that their post was a mistake and they only had the white
piano. So I canceled my order with them and continued my search. I sent several emails to them inquiring about my refund, asking for proof etc. No response.

I finally found a company called Harmony Online that claimed to have a red piano. So I ordered it and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

About a week later I called the company to see where the piano was. "So sorry" they said, "The red one is on back order." Okay, I'm a little pissed, and now a week closer to Beeps' birthday and getting desperate. "Okay I said, I'll take the white one instead." I hang up and then get an email confirmation of the change from red to white.


A week passes and no tracking number and no piano. I call them and they check their records. "So sorry but the piano has not been sent. We order them from the manufacturer and they have not mailed it yet. We will expedite your order."

"Fine." I say, "I just need it by the 27th for a party."
"You will have it by Monday." They say.

Monday comes and goes, and no piano and no tracking number. Now I'm pissed. I call the company. My call goes righ
t to voice mail. I send an email, no reply. Now I'm livid!!!

The next day I call again (at strategic times during the day and from different phones just in case they have caller ID and are avoiding my call). I FINALLY get a rep on the phone: Maryanne. I've spoken to her before and she is very nice. One of those people that seems genuine and concerned on the phone. It was hard to be mad at her.

Again, she says "sorry" but their computer system is down and that she will call me later to let me know what is going on with my order. (I'm not kidding!!) She calls later to tell me that it still hasn't been shipped but that it will go out "expedited (3-day)" and I will have it by Friday (Mind you Beeps' birthday is on Saturday!)

Friday comes and goes, and no piano. Saturday I'm beside myself with grief and call Harmony Online. Now their voice mail is full and I can't even leave a message!!!! I call and call and finally get Crystal on the phone. She tells me that she "Doesn't deal with the vendors" and that I'll have to talk to Maryanne on Monday. I give her a piece of my mind and she plays dumb. I hate her.

I hang up in tears.

Beeps is very nice about the whole thing and says sweet things like "It's okay, I don't need a gift. I'm sure it will work out." But inside I'm embarrassed and humiliated.

Monday rolls around and I call, first thing in the morning, to speak with Maryanne and guess what, voice mail. Now I think I'm getting ripped off. I head home for lunch thinking MAYBE it arrived. No dice.

But what did arrive is my credit card statement. And guess what? Not only did I get charged by Harmony Online, but also by the FIRST guy I ordered the piano from and then canceled. UGGG!!!

I come back to the office and immediately inquire with Amazon about how I can get my money back from the first guy. They tell me to email him and if he doesn't respond w/in 3 days, to file a complaint. Fine. I send the email.


Now back to Harmony Online. I call again and get no one. Instead of shedding more tears I decide to take matters into my own hands. At this point I still don't have a tracking number (although I have been asking for it this whole time) so I decide to send an email directly to
Schoenhut® to find out if they have my order on file. I also say in my email that I think I'm getting ripped off by one of their dealers. Almost immediately I get a call from their president and CEO. She was awesome. She told me she was upset and concerned by my email and that this isn't the way they run their business and that she will contact the dealer herself and get back to me.

SCORE!!!

The next day I get an email from both Harmony Online and Schoenhut’s® CEO apologizing for the mix up. "Great!" I think. Justice, finally!

I check my email. Amazon has refunded my money but attached to the email is a message from the original vendor. Here's what it said:

Memo from seller: Never received any e-mail from you. I contacted you through Amazon the day after purchase offering u choice of waiting for stock, a white one instead of red, or a refund. You never responded until you decided to rudely blast me w/o giving me a chance.

WTF????? Are you kidding me? I sent 4 emails to this guy and he never once responded to me! Now I'm the bad guy?? I respond again to him, this time attaching all 4 of the emails I previously sent.

This is getting ridiculous. But at least my gift is on its way.


The tracking number is FINALLY emailed to me. I check it online to make sure it's real. And guess what? After all this mess, they ship it GROUND!!!! I shit you not. GROUND!

The piano finally arrives on November 7th. A week and a 1/2 after Beeps' birthday and 1 month
after I ordered it. Luckily Beeps LOVES it and he plans on recording with it and incorporating it into their shows. Plus he was a real sport about the whole thing, telling me he was okay with getting a late gift and whatnot.

So if you are ever at a MPW show and see the little white piano, you now know the back story. And please, be sure to come up to me and Beeps and tell us it was all worth it.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Golden Comet Holmes

This past Saturday Beeps and I were at a really fun bonfire out in Unionville. Unionville is just far enough from West Chester to see a clear starry night. So of course, like the star geek I am, I took my binoculars.

At one point I left the bonfire and walked into the yard to look at the stars. I was facing northeast and noticed a blurry round shape in the constellation Perseus. I looked and thought it was a galaxy I had never seen before. It was bright and perfectly round. I called several people over and we all looked. It was fun to share the experience with a group of people. Some who had never looked at the night sky with binoculars.

Enlarge this picture to find it in the night sky:


The next day, still puzzled, I referenced several books I had to see what the heck it might be. But alas, there was no reference to a galaxy in that constellation. The next day my Dad left me a voice mail about "a comet in the northeast." Today I Googled "November comet" and eureka! The Golden Comet Holmes is our newest galactic visitor.


Here's what NASA has to say about it: Surprising Comet Holmes remains easily visible as a round, fuzzy cloud in the northern constellation Perseus. Skywatchers with telescopes, binoculars, or those that just decide to look up can enjoy the solar system's latest prodigy as it glides about 150 million kilometers from Earth, beyond the orbit of Mars. Still expanding, Holmes now appears to be about 1/3 the size of the Full Moon, and many observers report a yellowish tint to the dusty coma. A golden color does dominate this telescopic view recorded on November 1, showing variations across the coma's bright central region. But where's the comet's tail? Like any good comet, Holmes' tail would tend to point away from the Sun. That direction is nearly along our line-of-sight behind the comet, making its tail very difficult to see.


So if you have a chance, head outside on a clear night and look to the northeast right under the constellation Cassiopeia (the big W on its side) and you'll see a round fuzzy blob.

Good hunting!

Please Explain


So it looks like 100 + Osmonds are flying on one plane to the Oprah show. I wonder what would happen if it crashed?



And why do people care? I mean, I like the Osmonds. I think. Especially when Donnie sang in Mulan.

But why the big deal over the death of the Dad? And who cares if they're proficient breeders? Please explain?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Wednesday Cuteness

I've got no clever post to make today. So here are a couple cute pictures of Leia Darth Maul in a pile of leaves. Happy Fall!

Monday, November 5, 2007

CURSES!

CURSES! Is a new segment here at Hometown Hangover. This is where I get to place a curse on someone who has wronged me. This curse goes out to the a-hole that used a telephone book to break my passenger side car mirror.

Dear Mirror-breaker guy:
Oh, how your anger boils over
Oh, how your mind is bare
I curse your evil bones,
your skin, your eyes, your hair.

May you never afford your dream car
May your current car break down.
May your rear view mirror fool you
When you ride about in town.

May the cops pull you over,
and search your car to find,
That weed you never purchased,
But your friend has left behind.

May you spend some time in jail,
and think deeply about your crimes.
There the cell will fill,
With a group of annoying mimes.

When you try to call a lawyer,
I hope the phone book makes you linger,
The paper pages slicing quickly,
Through every effing finger.

And when you get out,
May my revenge fill you with fear.
Because my fists are like some objects:
Closer than they appear.

MPW Show - This Weekend!!!

Just a reminder. Get your tickets early to the Missing Palmer West show this Saturday at Milkboy Coffee!

You don't want to pull a "Turkey" and have to watch the show from the sidewalk.

BTW, Just a side note, you can go to Comcast On Demand and watch a segment about Milkboy Open Mic night. It was selected as "Best of Philly Open Mic Night" and Beeps makes a few cameos.

Friday, November 2, 2007

I've Been Tagged

Jeff "tagged" me today and here is what I have to do:

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...

B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...

C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...

D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Well, I just did "A" and "B" above so here are my 7 random and/or weird facts about myself:

1. I have a fake front tooth.
2. I don't think Indian men are attractive.
3. I met John Francis Daley in Ireland - Google that one.
4. I know how to sew, knit, and do some plumbing - all very poorly.
5. I don't want to have kids.
6. I've never been called for jury duty.
7. I don't really like it when people hug me.

Jeff tagged almost all my blog friends so see his blog for their answers... here are a couple he didn't tag: Chachi Milk, Techblik

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Best Halloween Ever!

This weekend was a blast. Friday Missing Palmer West played at Rex's with The Teeth. They were great. I drank several Rex's world famous Long Island Ice Teas and danced my hiney off. Saturday was Beeps' birthday so he slept until noon and then we went to see Darjeeling Limited (which was just fabulous. We are big Wes Anderson fans.) If you like any of his other films you will LOVE this one!

Afterwards we rushed home to get ready for "the best Halloween ever" as Marc pointed out several times throughout the night. We bought tickets to a party tour that included 4 parties that started at 5pm and ended late night. Drinks and food included. We unfortunately missed the first one but made it to the second one right on time.

The six of us planned ahead and decided on the best Halloween group costume ever.

Behold, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem:


Some side-by-side fun:











Beeps was Dr. Teeth, Rose was Animal, Krista was Janice, Marc was Zoot, Marc N. was Floyd, and I was Rowlf. When we arrived at Krista and Marc's, we were greeted by Marc's parents Kitty and Skip who proceeded to take several pictures as if we were headed to the prom.

This is Rose and I on the walk to the first party:


At party #1 (which was technically party #2), we ran into the second best costume of the night. Little did we know that this was going to get ugly. Behold, Awesomo:


Me and Beeps:

Awesomo unveiled (I said it was gonna get ugly). He was smashed very early on.


Party #2, my third favorite costume of the night. Andy Reid, complete with accent, Football for Dummies book attached to his clip board, flags ready for the throw, and an authentic Book of Mormon. He stayed in character all night. This party was great, there was a fire pit and plenty of food and drink. Good times.


Awesomo wasn't far behind. Somehow he found part of his costume and put it back on.



ANIMAL!!!


Party #3, The Mayhem finally got a chance to perform. Krista and Beeps on keys, me on maraca, and some strange dude on bongos. Around midnight the cops came on a noise complaint. No doubt the cause was the musical styling of the Mayhem.


It's been a long time since I was at a party that got broken up by the police, but frankly it couldn't have come at a better time. I was exhausted and ready for bed. We walked home and called it a night, already brain storming ideas for next year.

For more pictures from the parties our friend Mike has posted some on his My Space page. (you might have to be a friend to see it.)

Today we met up with the rest of the band for brunch at Butterfish complete with complimentary bloody Mary's and mimosas. Guitar Hero 3 also came out today. Beeps picked up his reserved copy and has been at it ever since. Right now he's rocking out to Pearl Jam's "Even Flow".

A nice one to end the weekend.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I'm in Like with Bruce Lee

The other day I was home alone and therefor had complete control over what I wanted to watch on TV. Unfortunately for me there was nothing on. So I spent many minutes just surfing the channels and watching a few seconds of this or that. Until I came upon the Movie "Enter the Dragon" staring Mr. Bruce Lee.
It was on the IFC Channel so there were no commercials and it was uncut.

I never really liked Kung Fu movies even though growing up that was the only thing on Sunday afternoons. And I never watched a Bruce Lee movie, so I thought "what the hey, I'll check it out."

I have to say that I loved this movie.

It was nothing like I expected. It was chocked full of 70s campiness: Afros, polyester, drug use, and bad acting. If you haven't seen it, it's about a martial arts expert (Lee) who is recruited to infiltrate a drug operation under the guise of taking part in an invitational martial arts competition sponsored by Han, the one handed crime boss. And when I say one handed, I mean it, the guy literally has different claw hands that he takes off and on. Anyway, this movie is like a cross between "Dr. No", "Mortal Kombat" (the movie, not the game), and "Shaft". It's good fun, lots of fighting, espionage, and jive talkin'.

Anyway, I recommend it. Plus Bruce Lee is H-O-T hot! There's something about Bruce Lee that I like. I think it's the fact that he's in great shape, knows not to take himself too seriously, and can kick your ass in a millisecond. The guy is just fun to watch. During the movie he makes these mime-like facial expressions that are just hilarious. He's kinda like a vaudevillian ninja.

Apparently the Chinese are massive fans of Lee and "Enter the Dragon" was the only film he made in the US that really turned Americans on to his talents. Unfortunately he died just before its release.

What's funny is that up until about 10 minutes ago, I always had these misconceptions about Bruce Lee. About who he was an how he died. So I'll share some facts that I found interesting.

JDizzle's Fact: Bruce Lee was born in China.
Truth: Bruce Lee was born in Jackson Street Hospital in San Francisco, CA.

JDizzle's Fact: Bruce Lee didn't speak English, thus his movies were dubbed and JDizzle doesn't like dubbed movies.
Truth: Bruce Lee was born here and thus speaks perfect English dumb ass, as well as Cantonese.

JDizzle's Fact: Bruce Lee died of a gun shot wound in a street fight.
Truth: Bruce Lee died of an accidental pain pill overdose under suspicious circumstances. A friend gave him one prescription pain pill for a headache, he went to bed, and never woke up. He died in Hong Kong of an apparent cerebral edema (swelling of the brain). After much confusion and debate, doctors declared the death of Bruce Lee as "death by misadventure."

"Death by misadventure" sounds like something that would apply to the demise of the Scooby Doo gang.

So there you go. Now go out spread the word and rent this movie.

Monday, October 22, 2007

My Doctor Sucks

Today I got an unpleasant dose (pun intended) of the "efficient" American heath care system. I worked in health care (the insurance side) for almost 10 years and I knew it was bad, but geeze, it's actually worse than that, it's embarrassing.

Let me back up this post about 8 hours...

At about 9am I was rushing to get to work and I almost cut the tip of my pinkie off with a serrated Cutco knife. I was cutting a bagel, not paying attention, and SLICE-O, I'm bleeding. I think I screamed every curse word in existence as I stomped around the living room holding Bounty towel after Bounty towel over the throbbing cut. There is no doubt in my mind that I should NOT be a poster child for the intelligence of our species anytime soon. I mean, I've done this before and will probably, ultimately die from a accidental, self-inflicted, bagel blooper puncture wound and then go on to win a prestigious Darwin Award.

Anyway, so I decide to be a good, smart, patient and NOT go to the emergency room. Knowing that the copay at my doctor's is $15 and the emergency room would be $25. This is something I learned from my years in the health insurance business. Many people abuse the emergency room. They go there, even though they don't need to, not realizing that emergency rooms are the most expensive type of care there is. Most people, if they just saw their primary doctor for non-emergencies, could cut health care costs by close to 80%!

So I get on the phone and make an appointment with my Family Practitioner. What does "Family Practitioner" really mean? Well, Medline Plus defines it as: "doctors who have completed a family practice residency and are board certified, or board eligible, for this specialty. The scope of their practice includes children and adults of all ages and may include obstetrics and minor surgery."

Sounds good to me.

I get a 2:15 appointment and head over to see the doc and show him my wound. He takes one look and says: "Looks like you need a tetanus shot and a couple stitches BUT I don't have the facility here to help you. You'll have to go across the street to the hospital emergency room."

WTF? are you kidding me? So now I have to not only pay my $15 copay to you people but now I have to go wait 4 hours in the emergency room and pay another $25 copay over there? I grabbed my papers and headed across the street.

Once there, I apologized to EVERYONE. "I shouldn't be here. So sorry to take up your time. I feel stupid." The woman who registered me was very nice and we had a bonding conversation about how when you were little, your family doc would treat everything from ringworm to warts to stitches. And that today, docs do very little and send everyone to emergency.

I guess because of the risk associated with providing the services outside of a hospital setting. And with the rising price of malpractice insurance I don't blame them. The real victims here are the poor men and women of the emergency rooms that are struggling to treat everyone who walks in the door.

Needless to say, when they finally called my number at the emergency room, they cleaned the wound, stuck some magic glue on it, patted me on the bum and kicked me out the door. (Actually, they were all very nice at Chester County Hospital and did not really pat my bum or kick me.) I was embarrassed though. Emergency rooms should be saved for just that, real emergencies.

Not for bozos like me that can't cut bread.