Monday, November 5, 2007


CURSES! Is a new segment here at Hometown Hangover. This is where I get to place a curse on someone who has wronged me. This curse goes out to the a-hole that used a telephone book to break my passenger side car mirror.

Dear Mirror-breaker guy:
Oh, how your anger boils over
Oh, how your mind is bare
I curse your evil bones,
your skin, your eyes, your hair.

May you never afford your dream car
May your current car break down.
May your rear view mirror fool you
When you ride about in town.

May the cops pull you over,
and search your car to find,
That weed you never purchased,
But your friend has left behind.

May you spend some time in jail,
and think deeply about your crimes.
There the cell will fill,
With a group of annoying mimes.

When you try to call a lawyer,
I hope the phone book makes you linger,
The paper pages slicing quickly,
Through every effing finger.

And when you get out,
May my revenge fill you with fear.
Because my fists are like some objects:
Closer than they appear.