It'll Kill Ya!

Beeps and I find the local news, and its desperate attempt to win viewers and ratings, very entertaining. It usually happens at a promo shot between commercials. They seem to take the most unlikely object, exploit its dangers, fill you with fear, and then tell you to tune in later.

For example:

"There's something in your refrigerator that will kill you and your kids instantly. We'll tell you what it is, tonight at 11."


Here's one that I found online today. Same idea:

Toy Ball Can Be a Fiery Nightmare
Friday, 14 Dec 2007, 1:41 PM EST
From MyFoxChicago Reports

Chicago -- A warning for any parent shopping for gifts for the children in their lives. A Fox News Chicago investigation has found one popular toy can burst into flames in certain situations. Medical reporter Margaret Shortridge has more on what you need to know.


Ummm, first of all, what parent, besides Rosie O'Donnell, is buying this toy for his/her kids for Christmas? If I was that kid, I'd be pissed. And second of all, what do they mean by "certain situations"? Do they mean like when you pour gasoline on it and hold it under a lighter, bake it in the stove, or throw it in a camp fire? I don't get it. Thirdly, who is funding these "investigations" cause they could get better use out of that money by simply giving it to me.

The only reason it's bursting into flames in the first place is because all the disgruntled boys and girls find these more fun to burn then to actually play with.

Corporate conferences and expositions all over the world morn this discovery.

Uggg.