Tuesday, December 23, 2008

So, I'm Pretty Sure I'm Gonna Get My Boobs Cut Off

Howdy Townies. If you are a regular visitor to this blog you might know that I usually share all my secrets no matter how embarassing or weird or offensive. Well this post is no different. You see, for the past, oh, I dunno, 25 years or so, I've had giant cans. I think I had boobs in 3rd grade. Much to the delight of the boys in my class, 4th grade, and up. I hated it. I was teased, grabbed, objectified, you name it. I was always a Tom-girl. I played sports, was a fast runner, I could keep up with the boys. But before you go "boo-hoo, poor Diz, she's got boobs that lots of girls get implants to achieve." I must assure you that mine are not your typical pinup, implant, perkiness. Mine are o'natural: pendulous, stretched, and heavy. I have indents on my shoulders from my giant boulder holders, I have cronic back pain, running/ jogging is out of the question, if I do work out, I have to wear 2 sports bras to WALK on the treadmill. URRG! I've had it!

So what's next. Well, I'm not getting any younger, and I'm sick of never being able to find a bathing suit that can contain and support the girls. I know MANY girls who have had reduction surgery with lots of success. Everyone I spoke to does not regret the surgery one bit. So I did it. I finally made an appointment with a plastic surgeon to see if I was a good candidate for surgery.

I was so nervous as I waited for Dr. Kim to come into the examination room. There I sat topless with a pink paper vest on that opened in the front. I was sweating like crazy. I guess because I had never really shown the girls to anyone I wasn't intimately involved with. And this was a stranger. To my delight Dr. Kim was great, all smiles, and very professional. It was a little awkward when he lifted by breasts one by one to judge their weight and to decide how much tissue he could remove.

He concluded that I was a good candidate and that the surgery would most likely "change my life." I'm sold! Then he explained the surgery (which let me tell you, is a little graphic. Google it if you want to know how it's done), showed me before and after pics of other ladies (and gents believe it or not) who had the surgery. I couldn't believe the size of some of the boobs in this book. I mean down to yer knees boobs! It was crazy. I felt small compared to some of these ladies. But the after results were stunning and I left the office convinced that I could go through with it.

In order to have the surgery covered by your insurance company (because some companies will consider the surgery cosmetic and not medically necessary), you need to meet certain requirements like breast size, health issues, shoulder indents etc. and have a supporting letter from your primary doctor before you can schedule the surgery. Dr. Kim didn't think I'd have any problems getting covered. He sent his letter, my nudie picture (he took from my neck down - I'm sure the mailroom at IBX had a good laugh at those) and my primary docs letter to the insurance company. Now I had to wait (up to 6 weeks) to hear if it would be covered.

I waited 3 weeks and I got a letter. I opened it with delight only to find that the surgery was denied. Now I don't know if you ever saw that Michael Moore movie about the US Healthcare system, but he makes it pretty clear that insurance companies make a habit of refusing surgeries just to save money. This letter was very generic and said nothing about why I did not qualify. I was pissed! Did they not even read the letters? See the giant boobs in the picture?

So I spoke with Dr. Kim's nurse today who couldn't be nicer. She actually spoke to the insurance company and they told her the denial had to do with the amount of tissue that was going to be removed. I'm confident that this can be rectified. And now I wait to hear whether I need to come back in for another consult with Dr. Kim, or if a phone consult will do. Then another round of submissions and another few weeks of waiting.

So I'll keep you all posted on what happens next. I'm trying not to get too excited just in case I get a big fat "NO" again, but I just can't help but think about the relief, the comfort and the mental and physical weight that will be lifted once I have the surgery.

Wish me luck.