It's Time Bitches! Big Brother 10 Starts Sunday!

Hi everyone. Are you as excited as I am to get BB10 started? No? Well you should be dammit! Cause it's only like the best reality TV show EVER! What other show is filmed live? Is on 3 times a week, and has stick-thin and fabulous Julie Chen as a host? NONE!

If you remember my post back before BB9 started, I did a little thing where I tried to predict the personalities and ultimately the winner without any knowledge of the contestants whatsoever. Well, I'm doing it again for BB10. And I swear to you that I have not read anything about any of these suckers people.

So let's get to it:

This guy's name is Ollie. I'm not kidding. He looks nice enough. By the looks of the color of that shirt and that clean shave, he might be gay. I have a feeling he smells like a mixture of expensive cologne and frappachinos. My prediction is that, although he hogs the bathroom and spends hours primping himself, that he will be liked. However, piss him off and your likely to get a tube of tooth whitening gel tossed at you.


This is Renny (Just like Adam and Kelly's dog). She looks sweet. However, I think she has cancer or alapechia by looking at that wig. So I can't make fun of her until I know for sure. Next...


This here is Steven (said with a southern accent). Ang Lee called, he needs the hat back. He must be from Texas by the look of that shirt and hat (god I'm good). I hate Texas. That's where our joke of a president came from so he already has some strikes against him. As far as I'm concerned, he's a republican redneck with solid and respectable hometown values. BORING!


Meet Jessie. Great name and biceps but he's got kind of a butter face. I have a feeling this guy is gonna be working out as much as I eat chips. Sans shirt of course. I can't complain. He looks like he won't start any trouble and will probably follow the first alliance that comes his way.

Keesha. Hummm, she kinda looks like Kirstin Dunst and Pamela Anderson got caught in a blender. She looks feisty tho, and I like that. She'll be a smart player and the boys will like her; both gays and straights alike.

This chick's name is Libra. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she was born between September 24th and October 23rd. I have a good feeling about this one. Not only is she a cuttie pattootie, but underneath she's already planning your death.


Here's Memphis. Again, goin' out on a limb: born in Tennessee. This guy's fauxhawk wreaks of attitude. He's gonna start trouble and will probably ruffle some feathers.


OMG! Tammy? Is that you? Wow, it's been what? 11 years since we shared an apartment on Miner street? Geeze you haven't changed a bit. What made you do BB10? How cool, you're so brave. I'm rooting for you sister. It's also great that you changed your name to Michelle for the show to hide your true identity. Nice move. No one will ever know. Have you seen Arlene lately?

This is Angie. How sweet does she look? OMG! I love her. That smile, that cute top. You've just got to have a big brain under that silky hair girl. I'm all over it.


Is this Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock? Cause that would be so cool. She's so funny. But alas, it is not her. This is April. She's taking over where Natalie from BB9 left off: fake boobs, back rubs and desperation.

Brian got caught in a wind storm before this picture was taken. He was very frazzled so forgive him if his hair got a little messed up and his Botox wore off. (get it, cause he looks old) ZING! Brian looks like he will make friends early on. I predict that he will be liked, especially by the ladies. Oh, and any cougars who might be near by. Grrrrooowwwl!


Dan loves hair product and eyebrow waxing. My guess is that immediately following any sloppy food challenge, he will be the first to hit the showers and slap on the L.A. Looks Mega Hold Styling Gel. However, there's a chance there could be a Brian, Memphis, Jessie, Dan 4-way battle royal for the tube. That should be entertaining.


And last but not least... um... wait, was there a mistake? Who's this guy? Seriously BB? I know you always throw in a ringer/ older dude but this is a first. Jerry must be at least 70. Maybe more. Jerry will probably stick around a while because the house mates will think he's a sweet old guy with no spine. Big mistake! My money is on Jerry this year. He's gonna take home the prize, no doubt!

I just hope the emergency nurse on staff, who boldly came to Amanda's rescue last season, knows how to perform an autopsy. This guy's ticker might pop as soon as the house mates unlock the hot tub. I just hope he knows what he's in for.


Well that's it Townies. You'll have to tune in Sunday night at 8pm to see which one of my predictions are correct.

Oh, an one more thing. I predict that the twist this year is that 3 of the house mates have at least one STD. That should make for good TV.

It's A-Baller's Life

So a winner to BB9 has finally been crowned. I know I've been slacking on the BB9 posts for a while now, but I think I was just overwhelmed by all the drama that was going on. I hated Natalie so much with her "Team Christ" bull crap and her "Matty" infatuation. It was just sad. I'll just say that I was stoked when she was caught in a lie and shown the door.

This always happens to me when I watch BB, I get attached to certain players, root for them, and then get pissed when they are voted out: Kaysar, Janelle, James, Josh, etc. I guess I like to side with the underdogs. And as soon as your fav is gone, you have to pick a new one and start all over. Luckily for me, I latched on to Adam aka "A-Baller". He seemed like an unlikely winner. He was actually very nice and had compassion toward those players who were going through rough times in the house. And as much as I called him "Steve Sanders" and his bugged out eyes gave me the creeps, he surprised me and pulled off the win.

Ryan was a dumb-ass for taking Adam with him instead of Sheila. Ryan could have easily won against Sheila. All she did was cry to get what she wanted. She only won one HOH and that is because Natalie gave it to her.

last night's live finale was pretty low-key. No one really hated each other except for Allison and Jen. They had a few nasty things to say about each other. And for a moment there, you kinda thought Sheila was going to vote for Ryan to win. James ended up winning the Rupert prize: $25K as the "Fan Favorite". How lame is that? He gets money just because the fans feel bad for him. I'm sure James will put the money to good use. He'll probably buy a new 10-speed with saddle bags and a side car for Chelsia as well as plenty of extra pink hair dye. Good call fans.

Anyway, congrats Adam. He made a promise to donate $100K of his money to the Autistic Foundation, so we'll have to see if that works out. I guess he's trying to make right his week-one comments about "Working with retards".

And so another chapter in the Big Brother series comes to an end. Be sure to tune in July 13th when the next bunch of suckers live in the BB house and battle it out for a half mill. Till then.

It's Bring Back Time!

How funny was last night's episode of BB9? I was right in my prediction of the partners splitting (which was what was expected) although I wasn't sure how they were going to handle it during evictions. It was kinda cruel for BB to make the sound happen right as Ryan and Allison were walking out the door with their bags only to hit them with the news that one of them is still being voted out. Allison's freak out was absolutely incredible when she thought for a brief moment that she was saved, only to be tossed out by a 6 - 0 vote! Now that was good television. And from all the crying she did, we finally got to see her without spider legs for eyelashes.

But I digress. Ok, so what I didn't see coming was that one person from sequester gets to be voted back INTO the house. I'm stoked because there's a chance that my boy Parker could make a triumphant reemergence. So I will be casting my vote on CBS.com and you should too!

As much as I liked Jen on the show, I'm not sure I could stomach another sexy rendezvous with Ryan in the bathroom. So I need your help. Please go and vote for Parker to come back in the house.

And how will Ryan handle HOH? I'm thinking Josh will be in his sights!

Stay Tuned!

What's That Sound?

I hope you all watched BB9 last night. Although it was just the veto competition, I think you would agree that we are starting to see the devilish side of our house guests emerge. As much as Josh is a total hot head, I do like him and Sharon together. And I like them as HOH. It is really entertaining when the pack kills off the most hated (Amanda) and then turns its sights to the second most hated: Allison. Josh really dislikes her and no matter what she says, he will never like her. And the rest of the house is perfectly happy that the heat is not on them.

My other favorite person in the house right now is Matt. At least he's making things interesting by playing all sides and trying to befriend everyone. he even goes so far as to make out with Sharon, um what? I love his advice to Allison about her predicament with Josh. He said something like "Gay guys are just like girls so just talk to him like he's your girlfriend." Umm what??? hahahah. That' your advice? The funny thing is that Allison took it! And Josh just hates her even more.

Also, how great is the love-hate relationship between Matt and Natalie? He's actually taken to hiding from her to keep her away. She's like a lost puppy, just following him around and trying to give him massages and cuddle in bed. And he just blatantly tells her to not touch him and "shut up." And she thinks he's just being coy. I love it! I did feel bad for her when she finally told him that her feelings were hurt by his meanness. I just hope they keep it together enough to win the game. I'm on team Matt & Natalie now.

So what about that sound? And the Hudson Virus? What do you think it means? I don't blame the house guests for being nervous. I think they are going to make them either switch partners OR start playing the game individually. If they don't split the pairs up soon, this game could be over in like 3 weeks.

One more thing. I don't think BB is telling us everything that goes on in the house. I was on Perez the other day and watched a clip of Josh talking about his sex life. (I don't subscribe to the online thing or have BB Afterdark so I miss a whole lot of action) and James was chiming in about his experience with, how do I put this gently, his pleasure in the back door area, which makes me think that Chelsia knows about his dabble in gay porn. So why didn't BB tell us that she knows? Unless they are saving that for another episode.

We'll have to see. I hope we say good bye to Allison and Ryan tonight. Stay tuned!

A New Low

Okay, I hope you all watched BB9 last night. How crazy was that? I really think reality TV has hit a new low and as Beeps likes to point out, "Reality TV won't be happy until someone dies." Well it almost became real last night when both Amanda and Allison had to be rushed to the hospital. It was actually hard to watch. Poor Amanda not only passed out on the floor but she went into almost violent convulsions. Luckily Nicole and James were there to save the day.

How great was James (even though we all know he has the secret gay porn thing going on)? He was calm, cool, and collected the whole time and really helped Amanda stay focused when she finally came to. I applaud him.

I also wish we had gotten to see Allison all swollen but alas she was taken out the back door through the diary room. Beeps made a good point that she probably had a reaction to the peanuts in the veto competition. Big Brother should know better.

But all seriousness aside, let's get to the shallow drama. What is the deal with Sheila? She's C-R-A-Z-Y! I mean, bat-ass crazy! I guess being confined in that house just magnifies your paranoia, but her reaction to Allison hanging with other house mates bordered on schizophrenic. She just ran her mouth to everyone in the house and of course they told Allison who was very dignified in her reaction. Sheila needs to back off. And after the near-death incident with Amanda and Allison, it looks like she's starting to learn about what is really important in life. I feel bad for her kid.

I also love that Matt and Alex are freaking out over being put up on the block. I love how they are trying to get a rise out of James and he's like "so what, keep talking".

And what ever happened to "Operation Condor"? I guess friendships only last so long in the BB house. I'm not sure that alliance can be salvaged.

Stay tuned.

Bye Bye Parker

Ugg, I can't believe my Parker has been voted off BB9. I almost cried and by the look on Parker's face during Julie's interview, I think he was either gonna bitch slap Jen or burst into tears.


But how great has this season been? And how crazy was that fight between Amanda, Chelsia and Joshuah!!!! I couldn't believe what he said about Amanda's Dad. That was waaaaaay low. There is so much drama this year. What's funny is that NO ONE keeps their mouth shut so if you are talking behind someone's back, he/she is sure to find out. So Amanda needs to stick a sock in her pie hole.

I love how jealous Alex is getting over Amanda telling her that if they can't be intimate that she can't be intimate with anyone else in the house! As much as I think Amanda is "slutty" (Alex's words not mine), I don't think he has the right to make such demands.

And how crazy that Jen told Sheila that Ryan was a racist and then denied that she said it!!! I was blown away at how stupid Jen is. And poor Parker was dragged through the mud with her. She's a dumb a$$.

And on top of it all poor Joshuah lost his soul mate to a "family emergency" and now is stuck with Sharon. Although I have high hopes for them as a team. And now that Parker is gone I have to pick a new favorite. So I'm thinking that if Joshuah can keep his bigmouth shut, and not pick any more fights, then he could have a chance. Right now though, the couple to beat is Matt and Natalie.

Stay tuned!

Sianarra Suckers

Easily the worst players in the history of Big Brother. I mean who talks crap about someone else on the FIRST DAY especially when you know you are playing for two? Jacob is a big bozo for #1 saying what he did and #2 lying about it being said by someone else. I feel a little bad for Sharon, she didn't ask to be in the house with her ex let alone have to be partnered with him.

Plus Jacob should have known not to mess with my boy Parker. Parker can smell a lie a mile away bitches. He's like a blood hound but for lies. So don't try it!



Looks like Sheila and Steve Sanders have another week to figure their shit out and quick!

BB9 Till Death Do You Part

Okay, so what did you guys think about last night's BB9? I LOVED IT! Let's see how accurate my predictions were.

Sharon - I guess I kinda got this right. Especially the eyebrow part. however I didn't see the "ex-factor" coming into the equation. So I guess I was kinda wrong too. I must admit that I like her just for the fact that she's going to be a complete bitch with her ex in the house. We've already started to see why things will never work between them. He's a cheater and she holds grudges. LOVE IT! Although I was impressed with their stamina on the challenge.

Which brings me to Jacob - I think I'm spot-on with this one. He's definitely the southern boy with the hometown mentality. We haven't seen his homophobia come out yet, but stay tuned, it's in there. He's in the worst position in the house. Kinda like pay back for his cheating. He's already taken a beating from Sharon. Let's see if he can make this work.

Sheila - DAMN I'M GOOD! I pegged her right from the start. Former model my ass. I feel really bad for Ian Zeiring, uh I mean Adam. Poor guy, he's not only the ugliest house guest as made perfectly clear by Sheila, but he's stuck with her too. Sheila is an awful human being. What did she think was going to happen? She's like 45 years old in a house with 23 year olds and she's looking to hook up? What she really needs is to be locked up. Ba-da-bum-bum

Adam - This guy got the shit end of the poop shovel. If they are evicting by couples, he has no chance being paired with Sheila. She's a selfish mess. His only hope is that BB lets them change partners. However, he should probably pack his bags.

Matt - I can't figure out if I'm right about him yet, but I think I am. I love that he's paired with Natalie. If anyone is going to end up together it's those two. He's a meathead who loves boobs and she's a ditz who has them, so we'll see. I was 100% spot on with her prediction. She's going to be quite entertaining this season.

Neil and Joshuah - Okay, I was waaaay off on this one. See I told you I didn't have gaydar. But I LOOOOVE them and they are already my favorite team. Just cause they are going to be lots of fun and good to look at even if they aren't into girls. Bummer that Joshuah isn't straight but I'll still gawk at him anyway although he's not as cute as his picture. I really think they are a good match too so we'll see.

Parker - I really like this guy and I think he and Jen are going to make a good team. Parker seems really sweet and courteous towards his lady and I like that. I can't believe Jen is with Ryan! She's so cute and he's a sweaty monster. Ugg, I hope Parker steals her away from that ogre.

Allison - I don't have an opinion of her yet, but I stand by my soulless prediction for now. I feel bad that she's partnered with the sweaty Ryan. They're going to need rubber sheets for that bed.

Chelsia - OMG! What is the deal with her eye liner and fake tan? I don't get it. And I can't believe the guys like that. She's so odd. But I love that she's paired with crazy James the homeless man. haha. I LOVE IT! She is going to get so sick of his crap fast! So I called James but that was easy, however the homeless part was a big surprise. Let's just hope he doesn't eat out of the trash.

Alex - Got this one waaaaaay wrong. But I mean look at him? Pink, fauxhawk, one hoop earing. You can't blame me. But once he spoke he sounded like a real bozo. And the fact that he said "I don't want anyone to know that I own my own business" I was like, you probably spin records at weddings and bar mitzvahs so who cares? Anyway, Amanda's a real piece of work and although I was right about her liking round things, I'm also pretty sure the only breeze she feels is the one blowing between her ears.

ZING!

I love this season already. Let me know what you think.

And be sure to vote in the latest BB9 poll in the sidebar to the right...

Big Brother 9 Tonight!

Yo, yo, yo, Big Brother 9 starts tonight people. 9pm.
Below are pictures of the new cast and my thoughts about each one, sight unseen. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, well I don't have that much time. Instead I'll give you just a few of my thoughts based 100% on the photo and nothing else.

Sharon: Why do some women feel the need to pluck their eyebrows to the point where they have to draw them back on?
She will probably be pretty smart at the game though. She'll either sleep with someone early on or form an alliance with one of the gay guys. She has potential.

Sheila: Token older mom. Probably has like 5 kids and is married. She's going to hate it in the house and will probably think everyone is against her. Her only hope will be to get into an alliance early.

Matt: Liar.

Natalie: Fake boobs + empty stare = comic gold.

Neil: Is this Zach's doppleganger? Either he's going to be a complete doofus or he'll win the game.

Parker: Love the name. Cute eyes, fun hair. I say he's gonna be one to watch. He'll probably befriend everyone and since he's the only black guy, everyone will feel too guilty to vote him out. I predict some longevity here.

Ryan: Meathead. He will probably be the first one to try and make alliances and in doing so place a huge target on his back. I hate him already.

Chelsia: Ummm, what's wrong with the name Chelsea that she had to go spelling it with an 'ia". What's the deal with the eye liner and fake tan? Is she a Pharaoh? And who's her hairdresser Victoria Beckham? I hate her too.

Jacob: He looks a little scary. I'm gonna predict that he's the stalker or the homophobe from Oklahoma.

James: Oh look everybody, the crazy guy! Lord knows that every reality show needs the nut ball. I predict that this guy will be he first to go. He kinda looks like Ricky Martin on LSD.

Jen: Hey everybody, another Jen. Is there a factory somewhere that makes "Jens"? There's like a million girls out there that look like this fine young lady. I predict that she will play the "sweet, girl next door" role who flirts her way through the game. All the smart girls will hate her.

Joshua: Move over Leo DeCaprio, there's a newer, hotter version of you out there. I'm in love. I'll be texting my vote for sexy Joshuah... ggrrrooowwwllll.

Adam: Ian Ziering called, he needs his look back.

Alex: He's got to be gay right? I don't claim to have gaydar but I mean check out that perfectly quaffed hair, that hoop earing, that pink shirt.

Allison: Soulless.

Amanda: She likes round things and summer breezes. All the dudes will be all over her.

So there you have it, my uneducated predictions for this season of Big Brother. Now let's see how close I came to being correct. Tune in to find out!

TV is About to Control My Life

In case you have never read this blog or don't know me, I love TV. Beeps and I do a lot of TV watching. The past few months have been hard with the writers strike, although it did allow me to get caught up on my reality favorites like Judge Judy, Cops, Tribal Life, No Reservations, How Clean is Your House? (Sassy British cleaning ladies. LOVE this show!), Clean House (with Niecy Nash. Love her too! Which reminds me, Reno 911 also has new episodes.) and several others that I am too embarrassed to mention.

However, my life will change for the better in the coming weeks with the premier of Lost this week, Big Brother February 12th (WOOT!), and Battlestar Galactica in March.

Lost is gonna be kick ass. I cannot wait!

Big Bother will consume 3 days of my week and I will watch every episode.

And Battlestar is going to mess with my mind. If you don't already watch this show, rent all the past seasons, and start watching because it's EASILY the best drama on TV. Beeps and I rented Battlestar Galactica Razor and watched it yesterday. I was blown away! They had the old school Cylons in it from the original show! Remember how scary they were?

Anyway. Hope you are as excited as I am. I'm sure there are many TV posts to come.

There is a God and his name is CBS

First Turkey gave me the heads up and now Smoochies has confirmed:

Big Brother to return this February!


Hosted, as always, by Julie Chen, "Big Brother" will premiere on Tuesday, Feb. 12 at 9 p.m. ET, following "NCIS." Additional installments of "Big Brother" will air on Wednesdays and Sundays at 8 p.m., premiering on Feb. 13 and Feb. 17.

WOOT!!! I CANNOT WAIT! Why can't the writers strike all the time?